Idiot

george500 @ 2006-12-08T08:17:00

2006-12-08T13:17:50Z

http://community.livejournal.com/she_bears/98290.html?mode=reply

george500 @ 2006-02-27T22:33:00

2006-02-28T04:33:20Z

http://community.livejournal.com/bears_and_cubs/168491.html?view=778795#t778795

george500 @ 2006-01-15T22:17:00

2006-01-16T04:17:47Z

http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/Jonathons_Dark_Side.html

george500 @ 2006-01-03T02:18:00

2006-01-03T08:18:28Z

http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/mis/122156996.html

Rock and Roll, pt. 2

2005-11-29T16:27:05Z

I'm in a band. The music we do is hard, very aggresive, very noisy, chaotic rock and roll. Three of us are ex-junkies. Chris, one of the guitarists, was in a band that was banned from playing every club in town at one time. I, myself, have been banned from more than one club. The last band I was in, with Chris, had at least one incident of bloodshed, I think, at every show we played.

Last night, half an hour before my band's rehearsal time, I get a call from Kevin, one of the guitarists.

"Hey, man, I'm going to have to cancel practice. I'm sorry. My kitten is really sick, I've got to take him to the vet right now."

"Oh shit, what's wrong?"

"His ass is all inflamed, (etc, etc)

"Awww!!!! Well, you better take care of that. Poor little guy."

"Sorry, man."

"OK, cool, don't worry about it. Thursday."

"I'll call Chris, you call Jason, ok?"

"Sure."

Half an hour later I call Chris.

"Kevin call you?"

"Yeah. I hope his kitten is alright."

"Yeah, me too."

"Hey, we got a puppy!"

"You're kidding!!! You got a puppy!!!"

"Yeah, it's a Basset Hound puppy!!"

"Awwww!!"

"He steps on his ears when we walks!!!!"

"AWWW!!!!"

Kittens. Puppies.

My band. :(

george500 @ 2005-11-10T01:28:00

2005-11-10T07:29:13Z

Intermission, this evening, the Florentine Opera's dress rehearsal of "Fidelio."

Brian; "That trannie bitch can fucking sing."

george500 @ 2005-10-19T01:38:00

2005-10-19T06:44:50Z

I was chatting with a young lady of my aqquaintance recently, someone I don't know very well, and it turned out, as we chatted, that we know the same people. A woman with whom she works once had strongarm robbery committed on her by a friend and former bandmate of mine.

Does this work for or against me in a dating situation?

Is this as bad as wearing a semen stained shirt on a date? The semen was from the previous date with the same girl.

Rockstars

2005-10-12T19:37:42Z

I've decided to institute a new procedure with my band. It's called "Tickle-Time." During "Tickle-Time" everyone puts on their pajamas and runs around their house tickling each other.

This is in lieu of the more traditional five minute cigarette/crack/heroin break usually enjoyed by my bands.

More hugs, less drugs.

Fucking Ipod just made me cry like a little bitch.

2005-10-07T04:16:01Z

I'm sorry this has suddenly become a classical music chatroom, but this evening, just now, about 11 pm, I was walking home down the menomonee river parkway, a really beautiful stretch of woods with a river running thru it, a block away from my house. I was listening to my new ipod. I stood under a streetlight for a second and found Beethoven's 6th, my favorite of Beethoven's symphonies. (not counting the ninth, but that doesn't count) It's called "The Pastoral," it's a program symphony, each movement being about a specific nature scene or feeling of some kind.

I found the symphony, started it, began listening. At first, the main melody is carried by some violins, softly, then by a flute or something like that, then it kicks in with a bunch of insturments. At this point I very often get a tear in my eye, it's such a beautiful moment, it always gets to me. If you know the symphony, you know how great this moment is. Especially walking thru a dark, quiet parkway, trees bending in around you.

Tonight, just at this moment, just when the orchestra kicked in, I looked up and saw a family of deer walking quietly past me.

Fuck it's good to be alive once in awhile.

I'll stop now

2005-10-06T18:46:09Z

I downloaded a series of philosophy lectures, one of which deals with, among other things, some characters from ancient Greek drama. The file has been named "Is Media Guilty as Charged?"

You know, Media. Jason leaves her so she kills the children they had together. Euripides wrote the play about her. Media.

:( :( :(

george500 @ 2005-10-06T01:21:00

2005-10-06T06:22:03Z

AHHHH FUCK WHY WOULD YOU NOT LIST THE FUCKING CONDUCTERS?

george500 @ 2005-10-06T01:17:00

2005-10-06T06:18:28Z

Why would you fucking put all your Beethoven shit on Soulseek and not FUCKING SAY WHO THE CONDUCTER IS? IT'S NOT ALL KARAJAN, DICKHEADS.

george500 @ 2005-10-05T03:33:00

2005-10-05T08:36:20Z

Conversation with Jason Melrose, my bassist, this evening.

Me, "Sylvain sucked."

Jason, "They all sucked."

Me, "I like the Dolls, I'm a Dolls fan."

Jason "That's because you're a gay."

:(

Up Against the Wall, Motherfuckers

2005-10-04T07:21:51Z

Not long ago Kevin and I left our amplifiers in a corner of my elderly parents living room for like a week. When lifting them to carry them to his car, we noticed that my mother had carefully placed three lace doilies on the top of each amp.

Rock and Roll.

george500 @ 2005-09-22T13:42:00

2005-09-22T18:44:14Z

I have a new email address.

Georgeg0@wi.rr.com

Don't mail me, though. I don't care for you.

george500 @ 2005-08-22T12:27:00

2005-08-22T17:39:25Z

Saturday evening, well sunday morning, about 3 am, Brian and I stopped into the lovely Pantry 41, the gas station/convenience store on the corner of Humboldt and North. Two young ladies came in, acting very loud, perhaps a little inebriated. The prettier of the two strode up to me saying "Hi, Purple." (I was wearing a purple shirt) and began chatting me. I walked up to the counter, Brian joining me. There her friend began to coo about my pimp shirt, also saying that Brian was "so cute."

At this point the friend asked the clerk for something, I didn't hear what, the first girl was chatting me again. All I heard was her comment "You know my brand!" I looked down at her hand and saw that she was refering to a box of condoms she was purchasing.

Then the first girl said "We're going to be using them tonight!"

Then the second girl said to the clerk "When are YOU going to fuck me?"

Then they left.

I've been at some pretty fucked up points in my life, but at least the clerk at the Pantry 41 never knew the brand of condom I used. When that happens, you need to do some serious self-evaluation.

I mean, after you get done having sex with the dude you met at Cans 15 minutes previous.

george500 @ 2005-08-17T06:35:00

2005-08-17T11:38:04Z

From now on everyone will refer to my male member as "The Staff of Kings."

I'm not saying everyone that has reason to refer to it should refer to it as that, I'm saying I want everyone, every single person, to make said reference to my penis immediately.

If any of you are friends with anyone outside of the people on LJ (doubtful) please call them right now and tell them. Let's get moving on this.

george500 @ 2005-07-26T15:29:00

2005-07-26T20:29:25Z

My mother just said exactly this to me.

"George, do you watch the porn all the time?"

george500 @ 2005-07-19T11:54:00

2005-07-19T16:55:15Z

I have, on several occasions, told Kevin, the guitarist in my band, that Chris, the other guitarist is a hillbilly, sometimes citing examples, sometimes not.(Kevin is, by the way, currently living out of a cooler in the back seat of his car, largely on Gatorade pilfered from work and Strawberry Newtons from the dumpster outside Big Lots)

Last evening, when Kevin and I pulled up to Chris's house, Chris was standing outside with kind of a perturbed look on his face. As we walked up the driveway Chris began explaining the cause of his agitation. Apparently a possum has taken up residence in his basement, our practice space. He was somewhat afraid to go down, in fact. The possum was enraged, he felt, because it had torn up the ceiling pretty good.

I pshawed his fears and descended the stairs, only to see that, indeed, the possum had torn down 6 or 7 of the large fiberglass ceiling tile things, knocking them to the ground. It was apparently an enraged possum, as he said.

With Kevin and I at his back, Chris felt more confident, not even getting his .22, which he was considering keeping next to his amp. As we began to plug in and tune up, Chris, around the area a bit, bent over and picked up a small plastic bag. He then held the bag up and displayed it, asking "What's this?" I looked. The bag was filled with a white crystaline powder. We both examined the contents closely. "Inositol?" he asked (A nutritional supplement and cocaine cut.) "Meth?" I asked. He opened the baggie and tasted it. "It's coke." he said, with a shake of his head,

"What do I do with it?" (He's been drug free for several years) "Throw it out?" So he turned and washed it down the sink. Do you understand this story so far? An enraged possum had dislodged a baggie of cocaine from the ceiling of our practice area.

As I turned around Kevin (who had been watching all this) was laughing, quietly but hysterically beneath his breath. He looked up at me, still laughing, and explained "God I'm glad I'm in this band."

The three of us and our keyboardist will be starting to play with prospective drummers and bassists in roughly two weeks. Be advised, there is a definite possibility of being hit on the head by falling possums and/or cocaine if you play with us. Also, if Chris levels a rifle, it's not at you, it's at the possum, so duck.

george500 @ 2005-07-14T01:51:00

2005-07-14T06:51:31Z

JakePw: who the fuck is this
George G0: hm, hey, just a person who wants to xcybor
JakePw: hmmm
JakePw: not down
JakePw: with the anon cyber
JakePw: as bunnies
JakePw: nah mean?
George G0: :-(
JakePw: sorry george
George G0: :-(
George G0: please cybor with me
George G0: but gae
JakePw: if you let me know whats up
George G0: ok
George G0: My name is george and I want to gae cybor with you
JakePw: how did you find me
JakePw: george
JakePw: cuz im not gay
JakePw: sorry
JakePw: i like females
JakePw: alot
George G0: ok, but pretend for like ten minutes, ok?
JakePw: nope
George G0: seriously, just do it
JakePw: sorry george
George G0: look
JakePw: no you fucking look
JakePw: no bunnies
JakePw: im not gay
JakePw: fuck off
JakePw: thanks
George G0: NO YOU LOOK
George G0: YOU JUST FUCKING LOOK
George G0: hey, sorry
George G0: seriously, though, let's gae off
JakePw: give me a clue who this is
George G0: You give me a clue!!!
George G0: hahahah
George G0: ok, I'm hopping thru the forest and I'm really horny for cock. (I'm a dude bunny, I'm gae)
JakePw signed off at 1:50:02 AM.

This is why there's an internet.

2005-07-06T19:10:44Z

Reader: 3/06/2005>
Hi Dr Lin. Im a 24 year old male who has used a penis pump on and off over the last two years with also stretching exercises for longer then that. I have noticed a significant decrease in the sensitivity of the head of my penis where i can just barely feel contact on the skin. I am able to still get an erection however with poor pressure and the penis head does not seem to fill with the same intensity as it used to and i need to use my pc muscels to assist in ejaculation. Could you please recommend something I could take that would improve my situation? I have been a pot smoker for about ten years now if thats relevent.

Tearjerker (Edited)

2005-03-14T16:29:50Z

I edited this and I'm posting it again, years later. I don't know why. I guess being laid up is making me think about it.

Tearjerker

About five years ago I was in the hospital for the fourth time in as many months. I was being fed thru tubes inserted thru my nose deep into my belly, I could barely stand for more than a few seconds at a time. I had lost over 90lbs in 6 months. Talking to the doctors usually took too much effort for me, my wife would do a great deal of the talking for me. I wore, at all times, at least 7 layers of shirts, slept in a sleeping bag, and had the room's thermostat set to it's maximum.

The doctors could not determine what the problem was, and hadn't been able to for several years previous. I was given every test they could think of, almost all coming out normal. Malingering or psycho-somatic illness were finally the only two options left on their charts, although some of staff realized neither was the case. I was screwed. The doctors made it clear that there really wasn't anything they could do for me. I was going to be like this for the rest of my life, pretty much a complete invalid, barely able to make it to the bathroom myself, in constant pain. Suicide looked like heaven.

One afternoon my wife, who spent every free moment at the hospital with me, and made many moments free that she shouldn't have, working and attending her senior year of college, was wheeling me back to my room after some test, and she said we were going to make a stop in a chapel just outside the elevator doors. Neither one of us were religious. I really didn't want to, I was very uncomfortable sitting up, and told her so, but she insisted.

She took me to the front of the tiny chapel, and we sat in silence, me just trying to keep my head up. Then she started to sob a little under her breath, and so of course I started crying, too. We sat there maybe 20 mintues like that, her crying and me trying not to cry and not to vomit, trying to make her feel better. I knew she loved me more than I'd ever known anything. I thought that if I'm ever able, I am going to walk back to this chapel with her and sit here with her.

Finally, after another year in bed, a creative neurologist managed to figure a way to begin healing me, but as I got better, I realize now, I began to completely shut out everything and everyone around me. I became silent. I was only just well enough to lie in bed and fuck around on a computer, and that's what I did. I could not deal with real human contact yet, and especially not with Betty. Especially not with Betty because, again I realize in retrospect, because I was so terrified that I would become sick again that I didn't want either of us to begin thinking I was getting healthy. I could not have been colder to her. I didn't know why, I didn't understand alot of my actions. I was in shock. Finally, after eight months or so of me being a complete asshole like this, really being rude and offensive to her sometimes, I think, she left me. I was, by that time, able to care for myself enough, with the help of my family, that she felt ok leaving.

Betty had, literally, saved my life. It was her badgering that made the doctors keep looking. It was actually Betty that finally diagnosed my condition. I would be dead, or a complete invalid, right now if not for her. It's that simple. I owe my life to her.

A couple years ago I was finally healthy enough to return to that chapel, but kept putting it off. I made a couple desultory attempts to find it (it was in a very odd little spot), but nothing really concerted, thinking I'd do it later, I had time, it was no big deal. Finally not long ago I decided to really make an attempt to find it, and very shortly realized where I had been going wrong, that it wasn't that hard to find at all. Except that, when I exited the elevator, the chapel wasn't there anymore. There was a temporary wooden wall in front of it with a sign telling us that the hospital was installing more elevators, and from what I could see past the wall, they had just started to do this very recently. Had I been there 2 weeks earlier, the chapel would have been there. I stood there awhile then got back on the elevator

Agree or Disagree?

2005-03-14T15:29:53Z

George G0 (12:12:25 AM): IT REALLY SHOULDN'T TAKE A FACIAL PENIS TO WAKE PEOPLE UP

george500 @ 2005-03-09T10:17:00

2005-03-09T16:21:53Z

When handicapped people, people in wheelchairs, get on the bus it's a bit of a process, for those of you not experienced. The bus driver has to let down a little ramp to the ground, and then swing a couple seats up to make room for the chair. It takes maybe two, two and a half minutes.

Do you think it's rude of me to look at my watch, roll my eyes, and sigh while this is going on? Several times? Looking straight at the person?

Hey, by the way, fuck you if you think I'm rude.

george500 @ 2005-03-07T09:22:00

2005-03-07T15:37:33Z

Hey, some of you already know this. I underwent surgery last week and I'm fine, but I'll have a long recovery time.

The surgery was required to repair some injuries I recieved in a gun battle involving 4 members of the Hong Kong mob. I say gun battle, but as most of you know, I eschew the use of guns, prefering to use my own hands and feet, but these drug cartel scum had no prohibition against the use of firearms, believe me, friend. I took two in the leg and one in the back.

Were I not skilled in the channeling of my "Chi" I would have bled to death in seconds, I'm sure.

Anyway, long story short, I got the child away from them, exposed their leader (surprisingly, it was Gus Gnorski,) and jumped out the window right before the warehouse blew up.

Anyway, like I said, I'm fine, I'll be home for awhile keep me entertained. Do something.

I should say that Brian had my back during the above described adventure, but he doesn't remember. Here's a link to his journal, btw. Add him.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/darknesses/